[She swallowed and sighed loudly before nodding and putting her forehead against Asuka's. Relationships were hard. She wasn't sure about agreeing to this, but every death had unavoidable effects now for her...]
Ok, I will. I promise. I... just don't want to hurt you. And don't worry. You don't have to say it over and over again. I know.
...Neither of us is good at this, Asuka. You don't have to try to be. I didn't choose you because you were great at this sort of thing. I don't fall for those people.
[Asuka leaned in a bit, press her own forehead against that of the demon girl. Being this close made it a bit easier to focus on things besides death and her own massive trust issues.]
You don't have to rub it in. [Asuka laughed awkwardly.] But I know and I'm happy that your willing to put up with me like this. I appreciate it.
[And a kiss on the forehead, to make up for the one that had been interrupted by depressing talk earlier.]
[mmm, when Asuka kissed her forehead, the girl's neck craned and head tilted so that she could brush lips again. She'd never been one for forehead kisses, after all. Smiling sadly while she hovered and touched lips lightly, she let her eyes flutter.]
Not put up with. I like some of these things about you. A lot. Normal's boring.
[All of this physical affection was something that Asuka had went from mildly dreading, to quite enjoying over the time since she first began seeing Samantha.
The Eva pilot offered another kiss, this time on the lips, just lingering for a moment before pulling away to speak.]
I don't think I'd even know what it felt like to be normal. So I guess that is a good thing.
This is new for me to, you know! I've never date anyone up till now, so everything we've done together has been something I haven't ever done before. It's been a little awkward sometimes...but yeah we'll get through the rough stuff to.
[It is a bit hard to think of someone as having died if your currently cuddling with them on the coach.]
[She chuckled very softly, one hand dragging her claws very lightly along the side of her head, just behind the aw. She liked it up close like this. It was warm... and a little nice to have the scent of her this close. It made her hungry, always hungry, but she was getting used to that yearning.]
I'm such an awful person, stealing all your firsts like this. And I don't even regret a moment of it anymore.
[Asuka's body tingled a bit at the touch, she just couldn't help herself. True, these encounters had lost a bit of their shiny newness over time, but it did not change the fact that this was something Asuka had come to enjoy over time.
That last comment however, caused Asuka's stare in confusion at Samantha As she wondered just what the demon girl meant by that.]
Does that mean there was a time you did regret it?
[That sort of phrasing does beg the question, and Asuka was not one to let that sort of notion slide without an answer.]
[Asuka sighed a bit, feel a little like an ass for having asked. She remembered back when things weren't like they were now. She didn't mind the arrangement. But it was just...different, to say the least. She liked the present far more, much as she had admitted in a sob during her confession sometime back.]
It was fine. It was a little awkward on my part, but I enjoyed myself and we have a good thing going now. So don't worry about it.
You really want to hear that?! Agh, OK... I guess I have to spill it then.
[Asuka took a deep breath and recalled another part of her troubled youth with a rather unpleasant look on her face.]
When I was a teenager I always thought that I'd hook up with some hot older guy or something. I thought I was to good for anyone my own age. I mean I was, and still am, the best at what I do, but back then I was a complete jerk about it.
mmm, you should look in the mirror sometime though. Even if you are the older one, we don't look like it at all. I'm surprised nobody's accusing me of robbing the cradle here.
[she snickered and leaned in, nipping an earlobe and closing her eyes.]
I could imagine it a little, though. Some lanky, good-looking guy for his age dangling you on his arm like his arm candy.
You don't have to remind me that I look like a fourteen year old. I get enough crap about that back home and when I first got here. A lot of people confused me for a teenager when I first arrived, but I've set most of them straight by now.
[Mostly with angry yelling and other unpleasant conversation.]
Maybe when I was a kid! Now though? I can't really see that happening. But do tell, what did you dream of as a little girl?
heh, well, when I was young and just with my mom, I would sometimes imagine that she was an evil witch like in the stories, locking me in a tower. It was just in fun. I really loved my mother, after all. But, I imagined some knight would come along in a white charger and take me away.
Thing was I always imagined I didn't have the wings or horns. Fairy-tale princesses weren't supposed to look like the bad guys. I... kind of lost them with "True love's first kiss." Gods, it was silly.
Seriously? I never would have pegged you as the romantic type. Yeah that sort of stuff is silly, but you were a kid and I think it is honestly sort of cute.
It's nowhere near the same thing and I'm no knight, but I'd take you for a ride in my Eva if I could.
[This was Asuka trying to be romantic. It was none to subtle, but when was anything Asuka did?]
Oh that died a hard hard death after my first kisses, trust me. [She sighed and shook her head, not really wanting to share those stories.] When I actually started being... active, it was hard to be romantic about it in the say way. I guess it was a little cute though.
[She smirked at her, her voice amused and pleased.] You know, I think a giant robot or a motorcycle would work in a pinch. Sweep a girl off her feet.
It might be a little hard to pick someone up for a date in an Eva though. Those things are about 130 feet tall, so it might be hard to get you in there in the first place. But if we could get it to work, the view is amazing! The world just looks so different from that high up.
[Asuka's expression was one of excitement and she seemed to bounce a bit as she spoke. There was little that made her happier then speaking about her Eva and how amazing a pilot she was.]
There is the whole thing about filling the cockpit with LCL and then there is a chance that having two people in the there at the same time may throw off the computer systems, but I'm sure it'd be worth it in the end. Even if just so that I could show you what I can really do out there when I'm not stuck on uselessly on the ground.
That... would be a little interesting. You link up mentally with the systems then? Would that mean we were sort of sharing our headspace a little inside of it if we were together?
[She looked at her curiously. The look was a mixture of arousal and nervousness. The idea of it was both simultaneously very attractive as a bonding method and a little scary considering her issues.]
I'll let you in on a little secret...the Eva, they're alive. They were cloned from the first Angels that showed up nearly thirty years ago and kept in check by mechanical restraints. As long as they don't go berserk we can use them as tools, but they're just as dangerous as the Angels if unleashed.
[Asuka sighed. Why did her world sound so crazy when she explained it to others?]
There is some mental connection going on between us and the Evas while were piloting though. And if you go in to deep you run the risk of losing yourself entirely. But to answer your question, you'd see some interesting stuff if we were in there together.
My head is a scary place, though. I'm not sure you'd want to see it.
Your people play a very dangerous game, Asuka, and putting you right in the middle of it isn't exactly kind... but I've seen a lot of things done because there wasn't an option.
And trust me. I think both of us would see things we weren't really prepared for. My head has its share of nightmares. I'd like to think we could deal with it, though. Knowing they're there helps.
Maybe someday before we get both go home, I'll share that stuff with you. It won't be the same as having you in my Eva with me, but I'd still like to talk about it before its to late.
[It'd be a good way to finally air out a few things before leaving. It might even help her mental state to talk through the darker parts of her memories.]
We could, yeah. I can share some of mine if you really want to hear it all. I've had some time to help with it, but still... it would be good for us to know more about each other, even the unpleasant things.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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4/10/14 03:21 (UTC)Ok, I will. I promise. I... just don't want to hurt you. And don't worry. You don't have to say it over and over again. I know.
...Neither of us is good at this, Asuka. You don't have to try to be. I didn't choose you because you were great at this sort of thing. I don't fall for those people.
[They were just quick snacks.]
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4/10/14 03:36 (UTC)You don't have to rub it in. [Asuka laughed awkwardly.] But I know and I'm happy that your willing to put up with me like this. I appreciate it.
[And a kiss on the forehead, to make up for the one that had been interrupted by depressing talk earlier.]
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4/10/14 13:27 (UTC)Not put up with. I like some of these things about you. A lot. Normal's boring.
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4/10/14 19:43 (UTC)The Eva pilot offered another kiss, this time on the lips, just lingering for a moment before pulling away to speak.]
I don't think I'd even know what it felt like to be normal. So I guess that is a good thing.
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5/10/14 03:44 (UTC)[Hey, they got through the "I just died" conversation surprisingly well...]
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5/10/14 03:56 (UTC)[It is a bit hard to think of someone as having died if your currently cuddling with them on the coach.]
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5/10/14 19:47 (UTC)I'm such an awful person, stealing all your firsts like this. And I don't even regret a moment of it anymore.
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5/10/14 20:05 (UTC)That last comment however, caused Asuka's stare in confusion at Samantha As she wondered just what the demon girl meant by that.]
Does that mean there was a time you did regret it?
[That sort of phrasing does beg the question, and Asuka was not one to let that sort of notion slide without an answer.]
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5/10/14 20:27 (UTC)I... don't like the idea of someone's first time being with someone who they're food for. But, I'd like to think I made it special for you.
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5/10/14 20:36 (UTC)[Asuka sighed a bit, feel a little like an ass for having asked. She remembered back when things weren't like they were now. She didn't mind the arrangement. But it was just...different, to say the least. She liked the present far more, much as she had admitted in a sob during her confession sometime back.]
It was fine. It was a little awkward on my part, but I enjoyed myself and we have a good thing going now. So don't worry about it.
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6/10/14 01:03 (UTC)I don't think either of us is really that good at "Not worrying about it," but thank you Asuka. I appreciate it. It has been good... really good.
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6/10/14 01:39 (UTC)[She nuzzled against Samantha again. Happy, sort-of normal moments like these were rare, so she wanted to enjoy it as much as she could.]
Same for me. This isn't what I pictured my first relationship being like, but I still don't think that I'd ask for something different like ever.
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6/10/14 01:57 (UTC)[She giggled some and smirked at her, cocking her head some.]
You tell me, and I'll tell you. It's kind of embarassing.
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6/10/14 02:08 (UTC)[Asuka took a deep breath and recalled another part of her troubled youth with a rather unpleasant look on her face.]
When I was a teenager I always thought that I'd hook up with some hot older guy or something. I thought I was to good for anyone my own age. I mean I was, and still am, the best at what I do, but back then I was a complete jerk about it.
[She sighed.]
I never thought I'd end up being the older one.
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6/10/14 02:12 (UTC)[she snickered and leaned in, nipping an earlobe and closing her eyes.]
I could imagine it a little, though. Some lanky, good-looking guy for his age dangling you on his arm like his arm candy.
Mine's even sillier though. You won't believe it.
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6/10/14 02:24 (UTC)[Mostly with angry yelling and other unpleasant conversation.]
Maybe when I was a kid! Now though? I can't really see that happening. But do tell, what did you dream of as a little girl?
[Asuka smirked wickedly.]
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6/10/14 03:23 (UTC)Thing was I always imagined I didn't have the wings or horns. Fairy-tale princesses weren't supposed to look like the bad guys. I... kind of lost them with "True love's first kiss." Gods, it was silly.
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6/10/14 03:51 (UTC)It's nowhere near the same thing and I'm no knight, but I'd take you for a ride in my Eva if I could.
[This was Asuka trying to be romantic. It was none to subtle, but when was anything Asuka did?]
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6/10/14 04:28 (UTC)[She smirked at her, her voice amused and pleased.] You know, I think a giant robot or a motorcycle would work in a pinch. Sweep a girl off her feet.
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6/10/14 04:49 (UTC)[Asuka's expression was one of excitement and she seemed to bounce a bit as she spoke. There was little that made her happier then speaking about her Eva and how amazing a pilot she was.]
There is the whole thing about filling the cockpit with LCL and then there is a chance that having two people in the there at the same time may throw off the computer systems, but I'm sure it'd be worth it in the end. Even if just so that I could show you what I can really do out there when I'm not stuck on uselessly on the ground.
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7/10/14 19:28 (UTC)[She looked at her curiously. The look was a mixture of arousal and nervousness. The idea of it was both simultaneously very attractive as a bonding method and a little scary considering her issues.]
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7/10/14 21:59 (UTC)[Asuka sighed. Why did her world sound so crazy when she explained it to others?]
There is some mental connection going on between us and the Evas while were piloting though. And if you go in to deep you run the risk of losing yourself entirely. But to answer your question, you'd see some interesting stuff if we were in there together.
My head is a scary place, though. I'm not sure you'd want to see it.
[Action]
8/10/14 17:50 (UTC)And trust me. I think both of us would see things we weren't really prepared for. My head has its share of nightmares. I'd like to think we could deal with it, though. Knowing they're there helps.
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8/10/14 18:17 (UTC)[It'd be a good way to finally air out a few things before leaving. It might even help her mental state to talk through the darker parts of her memories.]
How does that sound?
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